The Epic Battle

An old couple walking close together on a leafy track

If there is one thing that the seasons of Lent and Easter bring into focus, it’s the struggle between good and evil. At its heart, the Easter story is an epic tale of Perfect Love (Jesus Christ) facing down and conquering Evil.  It’s not just an historic struggle – it goes on every day in the heart of every person… and in the heart of every marriage.

Battles are not won or lost by accident. They take careful thought, discipline and courage.  The ‘pain points’ in a marriage are sign-posts to our underlying struggles. When we think about the difficulties in our marriage, it’s easy to blame the other person. There’s always something the other says or does not say, does or does not do, that falls short of what we’d like and need.  While understandable, falling into the habit of looking to the faults in our spouse whenever something goes wrong in our marriage is not a struggle-conquering strategy. Not only could it stagnate our marriage, it is not a pathway to the personal growth that is essential if our marriage is to flourish.

Because here’s the thing: The purpose of marriage is not to make us happy, it’s to make us holy. Obviously, happiness results from succeeding in this purpose but importantly, it is not THE purpose of our marriage.  In other words, marriage is a self-improvement institution; we grow as a person and we grow in relationship with God through the way we love in our marriage.  If you’d like to find out more, go to .   Here you’ll also find a good “Examination of Conscience” exercise for couples during Lent.